The Rehabs’ Guide to Dealing with Ambivalence
This article helps you with dealing with the ambivalence, confusion and anxiety that comes with entering a treatment programme. It is important to give the rehab process everything you can to get the best result and ultimately become the best version of you.
What is Ambivalence?
Ambivalence is when a person feels torn between two opposing sides. This often plays out when the person or their loved ones start questioning whether rehab is the right answer. An example of this is when you can externally see that your life has spiraled out of control, but internally you struggle with accepting that you may have a problem that has taken over all aspects of your life. This can also impact the decision of which rehab to go to, as each one offers a different programme.
In rehabs this frame of mind is often referred to as sitting on the fence or having mixed feelings.
Ambivalence and Sobriety
Ambivalence can be very subtle or it can be obvious. The key, however, is to speak about the ambivalence; to work through your emotions and confused thoughts with someone objective. These objective and supportive professionals are found in rehabs.
Often, people can’t accept that they are struggling, despite the evidence of their suffering being clear for all to see. Ambivalence makes it hard to quit, especially on your own. Admission to rehab can be the most important choice you make for the rest of your life.
When the decision to choose between a life of addiction or sobriety, it may be difficult to choose. Not because you do not want to be sober, but because the addiction actually fulfilled some of your unmet needs. You may not be able to imagine your life without the aid of your substances. You may believe that the substance gives you the strength you need to get through that week, day or hour. Rehabs will help you get this support that you need.
This is the challenge that rehabs can help you with. Making the ultimate choice between addiction and sobriety. Rehabs can help you make that important choice between life and possible death.
Ambivalence keeps you locked into Addiction
Your mixed feelings when deciding whether you want a life free from addiction and the chaos that comes with it, can be difficult to work through. This confusion and the combined anxiety regarding making a choice can keep you locked into addiction instead. Often you do not want to make this choice because of the fear that come with it.
Choosing something different may be as difficult as staying exactly where you are. Even though you recognize the chaos, pain and financial ruin that comes with picking up that bottle or drug. This where a structured and supportive programme found in rehabs can be a lifesaving measure. Rehab can help break the cycle of addiction, and set you free to a life with endless opportunities.
Working through your and dealing with Ambivalence
One of the most helpful aids that are used by rehabs is called Motivation Interviewing. Motivational interviewing is a specific form of questioning done by professionals in rehab. It helps a person reflect on their thoughts and then on the behaviours that stem from those thoughts. This can help you make sense of your internal struggle and the reason why you may be struggling to make a recovery.
When entering rehab, these questions can help you work through your possible resistance to treatment. Ultimately helping you work towards living a healthy and sober life going forward. In other words, the main objective is to help you help yourself. In other words, motivational interviewing helps you make the shift from wanting to quit treatment, to wanting to work on living a healthy life in recovery.
The Dangers of being Ambivalent in Early Recovery
Not dealing with ambivalence in early recovery can be dangerous to your recovery process as a whole. It can keep you stuck in active addiction if not resolved. If the hope is to be successful in recovery, you need to let go of any ambivalent thoughts and feelings. Some of the dangers of not dealing with ambivalence in early recovery include:
- Becoming complacent. Recovery is a journey in which you need to stay focused on your goals and continue to work on yourself. Complacency is what happens when you start losing sight of your goals and begin to engage in past behaviours. This can lead to a return to active addiction.
- Lack of daily motivation to complete necessary tasks to keep you and your recovery safe. Sometimes the everyday things of living a sober life can seem unattractive. It is during these times that intrusive thoughts resurface, which can act as a demotivation. This is why people who are demotivated are often at risk of relapsing soon after completing their treatment in rehabs.
- Risking your sobriety because of mixed feelings and confused thoughts. This is when you put yourself in risky or unhealthy situations because you had not thought through the possible consequences. An example of this can be spending time with friends who still drink or use drugs socially. This places you and your recovery in danger.
Motivation to overcome and dealing with your ambivalence
Motivation is how we stay focused on goals. It also helps to lessen obstacles and enrich our lives with needs that are met in a timeous time frame. In rehab, motivation plays an important part of making a success of your treatment and your subsequent life in recovery. Motivation is that driving force that helps keep us going. Even when things cross our paths and make the way forward seem unclear and difficult.
More often than not, people struggling with addiction and other underlying struggles are motivated to continue in active addiction because of what they gain from it. Whether this is being emotionally numb, having a break from their painful reality, or being socially acceptable. The challenge is to change the motivation and focus it on being motivated for recovery instead.
There are tools and treatment programmes in rehabs that held shift your focus back on what matters most. Living a healthy life in recovery. Learn more about Rustenburg Addiction Care’s world class programme here.
Finding your Freedom in Recovery
Active addiction often manipulates the mind. You start to believe that the time spent using illicit substances were far better than in reality. This is part of the general theme of denial in addiction, where people view their addiction with rose coloured glasses. When admitted to rehab, you will be challenged in taking off these rose coloured glasses. We help you view the reality of the situation for what it is. Only then can the freedom you need be found.
When you overcome ambivalence, whether in rehabs or in individual therapy, you break free from the chains that bind you. Overcoming and dealing with ambivalence can include:
- Spending time with others who also want to build a life in recovery.
- Being part of a community or group of like-minded individuals. These can include groups like the AA, NA, or other affiliated support groups.
- Being introduced to the stories of others who have made a success of their recovery journey.
- Learning about the dangers of staying in active addiction and continuing with the unhealthy behaviours displayed in active addiction.
- Attending lectures and motivational readings.
Mostly a crisis is what brings people into rehabs, whether financial, emotional or physical. Over time however the crisis subsides and the person wants to return to their daily lives. The core issue is to have the person return to their lives in a healthier frame of mind. This makes it possible to overcome the urge to reach for substances. This is what finding a sense of freedom in recovery means. The therapeutic relationship offered in rehabs offer you the potential to open a door to new possibilities.
When working towards these new possibilities, and considering seeking help in rehab, consider the following thoughts:
- Ask yourself whether you have been able to overcome your addiction on your own.
- Complete a list of how your addiction has affected your life. Write down the gains you receive as well as the damages done by your addiction.
- Create a list that specifically speaks to the different areas in your life, such as your social structure, your physical healthy, relationships, finances, your emotional health and future goal setting. Try and explore which of these areas have been affected by your addiction, and how.
- Thinking of the last incident that was caused due to your addiction. Describe the exact nature of the incident, how you felt afterwards, and the consequence. Place this written reminder in a place you can see every day.
- Write a letter to your addiction. In this letter, explain how it has affected your life, and the life of your family and friends. Also include the reasons you need to do things differently.
The majority of people struggling with addiction tend to forget the hardships experienced during active addiction. They begin to think that they are better because they feel better. This however often results in the person slipping back when the hardships once again present themselves.
Healing old wounds
Rehabs can subsequently help you heal the wounds caused by addiction and help you build a sustainable life in recovery. One of the main reasons people return to their addiction is because of wounds that have not healed properly. In addition, a person struggling with addiction often struggles to deal with painful emotions. Rehabs can help you deal with the painful emotions that often keep you trapped. Rehabs help when you feel unable to free yourself from the painful reality of your ongoing struggles.
In other words, to be free from addiction, you need to retrain your brain to tolerate emotions and struggles in a healthier way. Moreover, you will need to learn to be open and honest with yourself and others. If you are struggling with addiction, you will likely deal with ambivalence in some form.
With the right kind of help, you can learn to feel your emotions instead of pushing them away. This is essentially what happens in active addiction. People push their emotions away or numb themselves from their reality because of how painful it is to them. Breaking this cycle can set you free. But you must be willing to engage in rehab programmes, and want to change your life for the better.
With the help and support of Rustenburg Addiction Care, you can take the voice of ambivalence and turn it into a voice for change. That voice will help you find motivation, willingness, clarity, and a conviction to move forward in a healthier manner.
Contact Rustenburg Addiction Care if you or a loved one is struggling with addiction.